So I don’t watch Heroes, but Entertainment Weekly pimps it like Criss Angel with the Luxor, so I know a little about it. I was flipping through the paper (US Weekly) and I see the girl that played Lizzie on Guiding Light with Jack Coleman. Does it freak you out that I referred to Hayden Panettiere as Lizzie, yet I can namecheck Jack Coleman? Welcome to the 8th Wonder of the World that is me. Allow me to expain: I love Dynasty. It’s the best. It was fun and campy and featured John James in the tightest pants imaginable. So anyway, Jack Coleman played the second incarnation of Steven, the gay Carrington son. If you ever catch an episode, you have to check out Coleman’s fierce bow-tie ripping during the opening credits. It’s almost as good as the bottle of Dom that magically uncorks itself during Gordon Thompson’s credit. Anyway, so Steven was gay yet inexplicabily fathered a child with Heather Locklear’s Sammy Jo and then semi-fell in love with her. He also had a few boyfriends, the best of which, was some guy who he got into a fight with while working out! Imagine it, they were doing curls or lunges or something, and then all of a sudden they’re wrestling and there’s all this unresolved sexual tension and then Steven just walks out. It was awesome. Dynasty is filled with similar awesome moments. Let me share just a few with you:
- Alexis in a country-western bar, singing and dancing in leather pants
- The Moldavian Massacre starring my beloved Catherine Oxenberg (or as she is known in my household, “Oxy”)
- Sammy Jo wearing my future wedding dress while cutting a rug
- Oxy in gold Lamé and Sammy Jo in red sequins fighting over showkiller Ted McGinley!
