Sometimes I feel badly for Jason because he just seems so put-upon. He’s brain damaged. He’s expected to always be the hero. He’s on the receiving end of all those “you’re my best friend in the whole world”s from Carly. I know, I know, he’s a mafia hitman who willingly chose this life, but still, he has a limited wardrobe and the secret pain. Also, every woman in his life is crazy. He’s Henry Hill in the last act of Goodfellas, minus the helicopter and cocaine dependency.
For some reason, Jason decided to literally download his guilty conscience to Liz at the Zacchara Barn. For however contrived it was, Jason was able to let go of some of his secret pain by telling Liz that literally one half of Port Charles knows that Jake is his son. Understandably Liz is upset that Sam knows (in addition to Sonny, Amelia, Spinelli, Lulu, and freaking Milo) but she should just be glad that Carly hasn’t figured things out yet. Or Robin, because God knows the tables would have been turned by now. That doesn’t stop The Lovahs from making out and giving hope to all Liason fans. Meanwhile, Kelly Monaco is all “I re-signed. They’re not going to make be a crazy psycho/talk show host for the remainder of my contract….are they?”
Poor Jason can’t even catch a break upon returning home to the Penthouse of Solitude. For some reason, either out of pity or loneliness, Jason has yet to evict Spinelli. If the situation wasn’t so desperately weird, it would have a spot on the new CBS Fall Schedule, sandwiched between Two and a Half Men and How I Met Your Mother. Anyway, make room for more awkwardness as Lulu is ready to move in. Really, Lulu? Granted, its a penthouse, and it’s probably tighter than Fort Knox, but come on. That has to be one of the most awkward living situations ever. For allegedly being so secure, Carly sure busts up in there all the time. Then again, Lulu actually likes Carly so that may not be too much of a problem. Still, why the hell is Jason hanging out with all the young kids? He’s Wooderson from Dazed and Confused, minus the hideous mustache. I guess this means that the Mr. T cartoon series ripoff is a “go”.
