So, let’s say your Dr. Marlena Evans Black. Your ex-husband is missing, your son-in-law has been kidnapped, and your daughter is unaccounted for so the most logical thing to do at this very moment is…kick it on down to the Brady Pub after hours and read some decades old love letters? Huh? Joining her is former sister in law, Hope Brady. Now Hope’s son is in the hospital, her father in law, Old Man Shawn has run out with grief, her husband is running around Salem trying to round up all the missing Bradys and her daughter is…I don’t know where, because Grandpa Doug and Grandma/Aunt Julie are hosting this little Joy Luck Club. I know that I once enjoyed watching their poor man’s book club, but with all these people missing (plus Steve in the hospital…again) it just seems wrong. I just can’t deal with Hope sitting around sipping coffee with Mom Jeans and Eyebrows McGee instead of grabbing her gun and backing up Bo.
Whatever. In the past, Colleen officially left the church for Santo. Of all the things she could leave the church for… I won’t say it. Anyway, when last we left them, they had the sex and then apparently Colleen hid for days. So they meet up at the church and Santo asks Colleen to marry him. That Colleen must be something. I can’t get guys to return my calls, but Colleen, the Novice (as John keeps pointing out) gets the first guy that she sleeps with to propose. I’m sorry, but are we sure that Colleen’s not secretly related to Belle?
Colleen then reveals to her father, Child Old Man Shawn, and her priest that she is riding out on the Nunnery and into Casa Dimera. Of course Father Brady, with freshly painted grey hair, flips out, disowns Colleen and bemoans that she is shaming the Brady name. Father Brady, how lucky you are to have died before Sami was born. Between all the aborted weddings, the crazy obsessing over Austin, kidnapping her younger sister, and the whole Stan fiasco, I think that pretty much absolves anything Colleen ever pulled. Then there’s Shawn Douglas, his general stupidity, his numerous motorcycle and boating accidents, not to mention his clever plan of throwing his toddler off of a cruise ship into the Pacific Ocean. Yeah, I still think Colleen comes out on top. Oh, and I forgot about Max Brady and his assorted niece lovin’. Poor Father Brady is probably rolling around in his grave…
Speaking of graves, someone’s come to Roman’s rescue. Oh please, let it be Crazy Vivian. The herbs!
Moving on, Roman Thomas and Colleen Marlena? Really, Sami? Let’s just name your unborn children after the two people that act like the two biggest asses to you in Salem (who coincidentally are also your parents). It could have been worse: Roman Thomas Austin Franco Elvis Jr. and Colleen Marlena Carrie Nicole Katherine.
Is it sad that I found Andre’s little game show with Sami Kill Your Lover; Find Your Father more entertaining than Deal or No Deal? And really how much longer is Sami going to be pregnant? I just don’t see how she can survive mulitple kidnappings, numerous near death experiences, and assorted other traumas without going into premature labor. Then there’s Lucas. How many times has he been injured in the past nine months? Thank God EJ is always there, cell in hand, to call 911. What do you think their hospital bills are like? Who is their insurance provider? Why are they in the hospital more than the entire cast of General Hospital?
What is up with this crazy Nick/kids storyline? Don’t get me wrong those kids are adorable, but if I were Nick I would have skipped it back to whatever little college town I came from. It’s always one crisis or another with him. I also totally hate how Jeremy had to come to his rescue in subdoing the man in the White Hat. I know Jeremy was supposed to be in the Air Force, but in my own backstory that I’ve created for him, he’s also a former Mossad agent (he did live in Israel, right? I imgaine him to be similar to Daniel Craig’s character in Munich. Yeah, I just compared Days of Our Lives to a serious Steven Spielberg movie. I’m drunk.).
Oh, and Chelsea was hot and cold to Nick again. Yawn.
I’m also wondering about the priorities of these people. Reading old, sad (in every way) love letters while a brother-in-law is missing, another brother-in-law has been stabbed, a father-in-law is wandering the streets in agony, a daughter (stepdaughter, niece, etc) is 10+ months pregnant and in constant danger from madmen, her husband is missing or injured and who knows what other relatives are in danger is just plain nuts. These people need to get a grip on reality. But, then again, if I lived in the reality that is Salem, I might want to escape into ancient ‘love’ letters too.
Good point about Papa Brady thinking Colleen was a disgrace to the family. I guess it was all downhill from there.
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