Just a Simple Girl with a Dream

Previously, some of the girls were selected based on looks as opposed to dancing ability and the kickline suffered, there was a ridiculous “fitness exercise”, and Victoria was cut.

We enter the fifth week of training camp.  Fifth week!  Can you imagine if you were one of those girls like Loni who moved to Dallas just to be part of the team, try out for three weeks and then spend at least five weeks in training camp and you still may not be guaranteed a spot?  How much would it suck if you found a place to live, got a job and then Kelli cut you right before you get the boots?  Do you move back to your hometown or do you stay and try to make the Mavericks?  Why do I care so much?

Anyway, fifth week.  The girls are working on a routine and CMT plays that “Come Baby Come” song that I loved so much in high school.  I guess they really don’t have many country songs that work well with this type of dancing.  The positive reinforcement quote of the program comes from Judy: “the more of the choreography they learn the worse they’re getting with remembering it quickly”.  You know what that means: foreshadowing.  This is obviously The Mistake Episode wherein the girls seem to make as many mistakes as possible.  Speaking of which, let’s check in on them:

Kelly Jo: Still can’t kick.  Kelli and Judy are really harping on this, but I have to give them credit for not also suggesting a deep conditioning process for her hair.  Seriously.  (Although, I have seen the squad photo and apparently they make her dye it.  Also, I’m not making that a spoiler because since the girls are actively cheering at the games and the photo is up on their website, I don’t really buy into the “tune in to see who won’t make the squad” thing.  I, of course, tune in because this is reality show gold.) 

Loni: Still pretty.  Still not really a dancer.  (Still on the squad!) Loni practices her heart out though, which isn’t lost on Judy and Kelli.  The fact that she’s pretty isn’t lost on them either.

That’s all the girls that we get to hear from because it’s Fitness Time!  What ridiculous activity do we have for today? The Combat Crawl.  So the girls have this roller that they have to propell forward on a stretch of concrete at a Hilton hotel.  The girls are wearing DCC tank tops, short shorts, and pantyhose.  Sidenote: I hate pantyhose.  I think it’s inhumane.  I get that a lot of people like it and why they would wear it, but why would you work out in it?  In the middle of summer–at a Hilton in Dallas.  Rest assured, the girls are wearing knee pads for the inevitable falls they will take.  And boy, do they fall.  This is hard, y’all.  Why can’t these workouts take place in a gym? Why do they have to compete in activities where they can fall and get bruises?  How pissed do you think Kelli would be if the girls were to show up with huge black and blue bruises all up and down their legs?  I guess that’s what the pantyhose is for then.  Whatever.  Anyway, Christina Murphy completes the “course” (read: winding sidewalk) the quickest.  Jay remarks that she “owns” this event.  If I were Christina Murphy, I would give it up or exchange it for something better. 

It’s now Day 23 and the girls are fitted for uniforms.  I find this somewhat bizarre and cruel since there will obviously be girls that don’t make the team.  This is also an organization that picks its Show Group before the regular squad, so I guess it’s par for the course.  One by one, the girls are shown trying on their uniforms as Kelli and the DCC Costumer take their measurements and make adjustments.  By the way, Kelli is wearing some yellowish-green house-dress, similar (albeit longer) to the dresses that Britney has been sporting lately.  Natalie models her uniform and they comment that this is the same one she tried on from last year.  Kelli asks Natalie if she feels better wearing it, because she looks better in it this year.  You can tell that Natalie made it far last year because you can see the feint outline of stars and fringe on the vest. Of course, the uniform is still “unforgiving” on some of the other girls.  Abigail is “one hamburger away from poking out of” the shorts.  Another girl has “gained a pound or two”.  Kelli warns that not looking good in the uniform is cause for dismissal.  Kelly Jo and Michelle come out with their blouses on upside down.  How is that possible?  Brittany, when not lacking in knowledge of Tony Romo, is arriving late to her wardrobe fitting.  Kelli is not pleased and I don’t blame her, especially as Brit rides in rather unapologetically.  Tardiness is one of my personal pet peeves as well.  I hate waiting around for other people and I hate making others late.  Brittany is all “it was just one of those days” but Kelli thinks this could be a chronic and habitual problem.  She comes out in her uniform and Kelli notices that she’s not wearing her make-up.  Brittany explains that she works at a pre-school so she’s not wearing any and Kelli counters that if you can’t show up to a DCC event unprepared.  Her argument is that if you’re known as a DCC, then you have to project that image at all times.  I wish Kelli would have this conversation with that other Britney.

After commercials, we’re back at the Hilton.  Apparently it’s Etiquette Day.  This was a fantastic segment last year and it doesn’t disappoint this year.  The idea behind Etiquette Day is that these women are going to marry well and will need to know which fork to use it’s important to know how to eat in a formal setting. Also hilarity will ensue.  The menu for today consists of French onion soup, crab legs and chicken.  What about ahi tartar or lobster and creme brulee?  Poor Abigail is repeatedly called out for her lack of proper eating skills.  I’d be right with you, Abigail.  That’s why I stick to clam chowder and crab cakes.  The Etiquette Expert tells Julia 2.0 that she’s “doing great” and really why wouldn’t she?  She’s learned all her fine dining eating lessons from her early work on Pretty Woman.

Back in the studio, the girls have switched up their practice uniforms and I don’t enjoy the black short with white stripes. Kelli and Judy watch the girls in groups of five, taking notes on each girl.  Kelly Jo is still struggling with the kicks.  Brittany has issues outside of the dance studio.  Loni still can’t dance.  Abigail completely misses a beat in the routine and goes into the jump split early.  The other girls clap and then Judy flips out because the routine was too awful to deserve praise.  Staying late tonight are (no surprise): Loni, Kelly Jo, and Brittany.

Loni is up first and she is once again told that her dancing is not up to par but her showmanship is good.  Plus she’s still pretty.

Kelly Jo is told that she’s doing better but she’s not performance ready yet.  Kelly Jo says she’ll work harder and Kelli and Judy allow her to stay.

Brittany is called in and Kelli tells her that she’s there in terms of dancing and performance, but that she’s doesn’t exhibit the maturity and responsibility that it takes to be a DCC yet.  Kelli advises her to try out next year and Brittany agrees that she will work harder to achieve this dream.  Hopefully, she will also learn who plays Quarterback for the Cowboys.

Next week: It’s the return of Kitty Carter!  The girls go to the hair salon!  And Julia 2.0 thinks she may be cut.