It’s only early January and my year has already been made by a marathon of classic Making the Team episodes. Up first: The first season premiere wherein we meet Kelli, Judy, Natalie, Julia 2.0, Candace Carr and Brooke among others. Join me now for a trip down memory lane!
Let me start be saying that I enjoyed the first season so much better than the second. I just think it was fresher and more exciting. Bonus: book reports and more random football trivia. Really, I think the only thing that held Season 2 together was Condoleeza Jones and “cash and prizes”. Even Jay’s “fitness challenges” didn’t seem as ridiculous.
It’s the first day of auditions and hundreds of women gather in front of Texas Stadium in hopes of becoming a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. As the girls put their numbers on, I notice that one in particular is wearing a Juicy Couture bathing suit top. Really? It’s terrycloth. I would also like to point out that DCC applicants prefer the hotpants look to the bikini bottoms that The Making Squad women sport. Kelli greets the girls wearing a pale pink suit ands sets the scene. In an interview, Judy explains that Kelli was a DCC for five years. I really think five years is the max for a DCC as opposed to some squads where the women have been on them for double digits.
In the judging room, Kelli explains the process to her judging panel. Apparently the judges will base their scores on 1) attractiveness 2) physical figure (this is also the first mention of how “unforgiving” The Uniform is) 3) showmanship and 4) dance. I love how looks trump dance ability in order of importance. God forbid there are average looking girls out their waving pom poms!
Preliminary auditions begin with groups of five freestyling. Miranda, who will pop up again in Season 2, says she is 23 years old. I seriously had no idea. I really thought she was older than that. She is trying out with her best friend Cerissa and we are treated of shots of them working out at home wearing dancewear like it’s perfectly normal. Inga is a former DCC from the mid-nineties who is trying to reclaim a spot on her old squad to prove something to her children and family. Yoshiko is from Japan and dances like she means it. In between good dancing, we see clips of really, really horrible dancing from out of shape women with bad hair. I have to ask: where is their self-awareness? After the montage, we meet Julia 2.0, sporting darker, curlier hair. Judy and Kelli immediately make the Julia Roberts connection and it’s pretty obvious that any squad would want a young Julia Roberts on their sidelines…except the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders unfortunately. They just make her recite book reports, but I’m getting ahead of myself. In her “At Home with The Cheerleader” segment, Julia 2.0 explains that people have been telling her she’s looked like J. Ro since she was 10 years old but hopefully people will come to know her as Meagan. I’ve watched this show for two years and yes, I know her name is Meagan, but Julia 2.0 just has a certain kick to it! During Julia 2.0′s dance, she has to keep adjusting her tube top but tries to make it part of the dance so the judges don’t notice. Well the male judges seemed to notice and they didn’t seem to mind. Kelli likes her (at this point) and would suggest that she find something more wearable to dance in for the next round.
After prelims, the judges must narrow down the applicants to 100 girls who will advance to the next round. Two security guards carry out a dry erase board with 100 lucky numbers on it. Miranda, Cerissa, and Inga make it. Yoshiko cries with joy and tells someone on her cell phone. Julia 2.0 learns she’s moving on and talks to the camera as she puts on makeup. We meet Deryn, a former Saints Dancer displaced by Hurricane Katrina. She’s moved to Dallas and hopes to make the squad to lift her spirits.
During the second round, we meet Kalli. Kalli was one of my favorites. She just broke my heart. She’s very young and cute and bubbly and hopes to work within the Cowboys’ Organization in later life. On the field at Texas Stadium, Judy teaches the applicants a routine so they can get a taste of the DCC choreography. Not everyone is quick a lerner. Back inside, the girls must perform the routine in groups of fives. Kelli gives a pep talk and I notice that she is wearing a very loud, multi-color top that most likely cost a fortune but I think is issued to you if you make over a certain income in Dallas. Kalli is very nervous and Kelli picks up on how jittery she is. This will be a reoccuring theme so watch for it.
Back in the judging rooms, the judges debate the merits of the various contestants. When discussing Julia 2.0, Judy pipes up that she “can dance” but just “got lost” during the routine. Oh, isn’t that prophetic? Cerissa, Julia 2.0, Deryn, Miranda, and Brooke make it to finals. Where’s Natalie Woods? I know she’s in there; we just haven’t seen it yet. Inga, the old school DCC, is cut. She cheered in a Super Bowl, however, so she has her memories.
It’s time for interviews and the candidates arrive in business suits. At headquarters, the girls walk past both football and cheerleading uniforms encased in glass. Once inside the Interview Room, we see Natalie Woods! Finally! Jay, who must watch old Barbara Walters’ Specials for his interview questions, asks the girls who they would would call if they had ten minutes to live. Natalie would call her husband. One candidate would call “Miss United States” because she’s always dreamed of becoming “Miss United States”. Jay and the other judges are stupified. He clarifies that she would really call “Miss America” if she had ten minutes to live and only one phone call. The candidate nods and then corrects him by saying “Miss United States”. Seriously, is she talking about Miss USA? Seriously does she have no friends or family? If I was going to choose a completely random person to call before my untimely death that I didn’t know, I would at least choose Tom Brady and guess what? I’d die happy.
After inteviews, the candidates just happen to “walk by” the practice studio where the Veterans perform. We meet Starr, a Rookie looking to make it to Year 2. She’s completely transformed inside and out over the past year and that’s basically all that we learn from her because now we’re at a dance studio. Unifortunately it’s not The Dance Factory. Jim, owner of this studio critiques the girls on their individual dances. Apparently working with Yoshiko has been a “big challenge” for him. She’ll be dancing in Western wear and she looks suspiciously like a Dallas Desperados Dancer. Natalie had an upper respitorary infection and is having trouble practicing. Oh Natalie.
After the break, the candidates arrive for the solo dance portion and meet up with the Veterans. Brooke is the first candidate to perform and immediately catches heat for her figure. Kelli asks Jay “why are her arms thick?” Judy explains that Brooke needs to tone up but is very talented. I know Brooke makes the squad and everything but how awkward must this episode be to watch? Yoshiko wears a traditional kimono for part of her routine and then strips it off to reveal her Western outfit. Judy remarks that “she went geisha to cowgirl” but pronounces it “geesha”. Oh Judy. Miranda’s routine involves some sort of makeup chair. Did she have to haul that there? Why was that necessary? Natalie performs some sort of chair dance. A lot of the women strut around, shaking it and try to dance all sexy. While I get that’s what this is all about, it just seems way less wholesome when done individually as opposed to larger groups. Seriously, at this point, I’m shocked that some girls didn’t bring poles.
After all the individual dances, the girls randomly change into a blue two piece ensemble and must demonstrate their mastry of the “signature kickline”. Oh the kickline. Drink everytime you hear that one. The judges meet one last time to narrow down the women who will be invited into the Training Camp. When discussing Veteran Melissa, Jay points out that she is heavier than last year and doesn’t deserve a spot since she knows the drill when it comes to weight. Whatever Jay, go chill in your Bod Pod. After deliberations, Kelli announces which women will be “invited” to spend several weeks obsessing over whether or not they will make the squad. Deryn, Brooke, Yoshiko, Julia 2.0, Natalie, Brooke and Kalli are in. Some of the Veterans including Melissa are out. Miranda is also cut which is awkward since Cerissa recieves an “invitation”. I hate that term. Why not E-Vites?
While all the “invited” girls celebrate, Kelli voice overs that Training Camp is a harsh mistress. Oh yeah it is. Seriously, the Dolphins select their team in like two weeks. The DCC: several months.
Next time: Kelli informs the girls that not all of them will make it through the end of camp and Jay gets his moment in the sun.
[...] Classic DCC: Season 1, The Premiere or “If my life depends on it, I’m calling Miss Unite… [...]