At the studio, Kelli gives notes on the girls’ performances. Apparently, each candidate receives a “game evaluation” which is like a printout of Kelli and Judy’s thoughts. Natalie was told that she needed to “loosen up” so she works with Nicole on style and having fun with the dance.
Suddenly we’re at Camp DCC, where the Veterans teach young girls how to dance. The Rookies are on hand to assist and sign autographs.
Back at dance practice, Kelli cites Jennifer as a timid dancer and Rookie Kandi looks heavier. Julia 2.0 is still out of control on the dance floor. Judy asks the girls how many of them made mistakes. Out of a group of 10, eight girls raise their hands. Judy and Kelli go through each girl one by one and go over the mistakes in the routine.
To blow off some steam, the girls go to some place called the Backyard Beach Bar. Is Dallas even near a beach? Doesn’t matter, because this place has a pool out back. It’s like Margaritaville or something. (I would say that it’s the Dallas version of The Saddle Ranch but that’s obviously Gilley’s.) There’s some line dancing going on and I’m not embarrassed to admit that I, as part of The Miami 7, did some line dancing last month, in suburban Ft. Lauderdale, aka the line dancing capital… of suburban Ft. Lauderdale. Back to the girls, Yoshiko learns how to say “yee haw”. (Despite the aforementioned line dancing experience, I frequently cringe at cowboy culture.) After line dancing and volleyball, the girls have fun in the pool, except for Julia 2.0 who prefers to lay out on the sideline. This will be an important plot point later.
Kelli puts together a football clinic so the girls can learn about what goes on at a football game. Lineback Ryan Fowler and Former Cowboy Larry Brown are in the house to help the girls. Kalli is asked how many timeouts each team is allowed per half. She incorrectly guesses two and Kelli throws out a yellow flag. Meghan Fox is asked how many Super Bowls the Cowboys have won. She knows that the answer is five and then names the winning years. She’s good and I wouldn’t be surpised if she overtakes Kelli in a few years. In the next round, the Rookies have to dress the Vets in a Cowboy uniform, pads and all. I’m not really sure what the point of that is because cross-dressing isn’t part of the sideline action, but whatever. (The best is if you try to imagine Jessica Simpson attending this exercise. Surely she needs it after her embarrassing display, cooing at the camera during the Cowboys’ loss. Of course, you can’t have Jess without Papa Joe, so imagine him there too.)
Today’s boot camp exercise is Jay’s version of a pass, punt and kick challenge. Natalie Woods of all people does pretty well on the punt while Kalli’s not bad with the passing. (Perhaps they can take these skills on the road since they won’t make the team.) The next phase involves a Rookie and a Veteran running through a series of practice dummies that culminates in a ubiquitous end zone dance. Where’s T.O. when you need him? (Answer: crying.) Not that I was paying attention, but the Rookie and Veteran teams are tied so they have to have a “run-off” and the Rookies win. I yawn.
At the director’s meeting, Kelli and Judy discuss Julia 2.0 and her awkwardness. One of Kelli’s assistants, Miko tells K&J that Julia 2.0 was rude at the Backyard Beach Bar and wouldn’t line dance or go in the pool. Rude at the Backyard Beach Bar? Oh, heavens no! Judy has the quote of the day with “if someone gives you a tunafish sandwhich with anchioves on it, you say ‘thank you’ and pretend like you’re eating it”. First of all, why would anyone do that and secondly, is Judy basically endorsing that the girls should have a fake attitude? I’m all for being polite in social situations, but here’s the thing: girls don’t always get along. Trust me, I know. Do you know how many times I’m felt socially awkward in a group of girls? Countless. It’s not that I dislike them, it’s just sometimes I don’t have very much in common with them. I’m also been in situations when girls form cliques and aren’t very friendly or open. Surely Kelli and Judy should be used to that nonsense by now. Frankly I’m surprised that most of the girls seem to get along, or perhaps they’re all eating the tunafish with anchioves and making nice for the cameras.
During practice, Kelli thinks Jennifer is “blending” too much and fading. Natalie and Julia 2.0 are told not to make faces and start smiling throughout the whole dance. Back in Kelli’s office, Natalie is improving but she needs to start doing better in rehearsals. Kandi, Brooke and Ryan are brought in and told to work on their weight. Kelli tells Julia 2.0 that she is not perceived as unenthuisastic and bored by people outside Valley Ranch. Julia 2.0 explains that she doesn’t feel comfortable around everyone (I know, I’ve been there! not at Valley Ranch, but around girls, see earlier paragraph). Kelli says that Julia 2.0 doesn’t come off as “gracious”. Kelli and Judy treat Julia 2.0 like she’s a loose cannon; and are afraid that she won’t come off as polite in appearances. I just think she gets nervous around people and that’s a big difference. Now for the most awesome part of this series: the book report! Kelli hands Julia 2.0 a piece of paper and assisgns her to read a book on Jackie O for next week’s practice. Their hope is that she’ll learn to be “gracious” by reading this book. Of course, Julia 2.0 misunderstands this and thinks they think she’s “ungrateful” which is a big difference. Back in Kelli’s office, they bring Jennifer in and inform her that she’s been cut. While this is going on, I realize that Kelli is wearing a black net shirt over a black tank top. Dear God, why? Did she get that from Right Said Fred? After Jennifer cries and leaves, Judy pipes up that “she’s pretty” and that maybe she’ll try out again. I love the Judy is all about brining up people’s looks, which is why Julia 2.0′s rebuttal next season is so sweet.
Next time: Jackie O-NAY-sis!
[...] Classic DCC, Episode 4: Shut up and line dance [...]