At Barbie’s Dream McMansion, the teams discuss Angela and Tenia’s mad dash. I am surprised that all of the teams are assembled as opposed to just the mean girls. Jenileigh tries to comfort Christan and Ada and then Laura jumps in and injects bitchiness. Laura is on her bitchy high horse because after all the nice teams leave, she wonders why there are people left that “aren’t beautiful on the outside”. Oh, to be a mirror in Laura’s house! If this wasn’t the penultimate episode I would go back in time and rename Laura and Patty Team Wicked Queen.
It’s a new day and Linnea announces that the pairs will go to a dance studio to work on the opening number with Scott Grossman. The Scott Grossman? When the teams arrive, they are greeted by the eliminated teams who will also be participating in the opening. Unfortunately Angela and Tenia are there as well. I hope Scott Grossman will choreograph some running in the routine for them. Or perhaps some early nineties snapping or dress flashing.
Back in the living room, Linnea explains that the winners of the pageant will host functions for very important people. Say what? I seriously thought the winners just got $100,000 and perhaps a DVD box set of the show. I didn’t really think they were going on the road with this. I mean who will they be entertaining? Hollywood movers and shakers or senior managers at a corporate retreat in Topeka, Kansas? For the preliminary competition, the teams will have to host a cocktail party where they will be judged on their contribution to the event, their social graces, and their appearance.
Outside, the teams begin to plan the party and it looks like there’s too many people making decisions. Gina seems to be taking charge which isn’t going to endear her to the other teams. We’re treated to footage of the teams preparing their entrees and Team Erica Kane is all about making quiche. This is the hardest competition for Patty since she doesn’t cook and we all know that Laura can’t turn on an oven so she’s probably just in a corner smirking. I’m surprised Patty didn’t bust out the freezer bag full of hamburger meat she proudly boasted about in Episode 1.
Before the party begins, the women change into semi-formal wear and Gina gives everyone some last minute tips. They’re all on pins and needles wondering who their VIP guests will be. Surprise! It’s their men: husbands, fathers,boyfriends, etc. Oh my God! Do you know how I refer to Laura as Sarah Michelle Gellar-era Kendall Hart? Guess what? Her husband is named Zack. Can you believe it! Neither can I, nor can I believe the fact that they’re married, especially when she greets him with this: “I’ve been bitchy. Some of these girls piss me off really bad.” Zack’s response: “Laura definitely speaks her mind…in all situations in life.” Do you know who should have been guests at this party? Zack’s friends. I would love to know what they really think of all this. Other noteworthy guests: Ada’s husband looks really young, Hollis has a boyfriend named Percy, and Jenileigh’s guest is her best friend, Omar.
Linnea walks back out, explains the rules of the party again, and the party officially kicks off. Food and drinks are served and the conversation is sparkling. After a fair amount of time, Linnea sends the women inside and tasks the men with choosing a winner. The men aren’t allowed to vote for their loved ones and while they deliberate, the women watch them on a close circuit feed. There’s also a lot of wine going around so expect some wacky drunken behavior later later!
Playing the roles of cabana boys this evening are Christan’s dad and Zack. They announce Moya and Jenileigh as the best hostesses and they win spa treatments at the MGM Las Vegas. I love the MGM! I’m so jealous. A little bit later, Patty is drunk! Hilarious! She starts throwing up in any spare container she and her husband can find. I would die for Patty’s husband to pull out a small tiny paper cup a la Garth in Wayne’s World and instruct her to “spew into this”. Gina, meanwhile, is totally making out with her man on the couch. There’s also some odd foot rubbing which is just weird. Hollis is scandalized. Granted, this is a relatively tame reality show, but it’s not like two of the moms are making out with a random dad in the hot tub like it’s The Real World Vegas.
The morning after, Gina regrets her drunken behavior and apologizes to Hollis. Hollis accepts the apology but doesn’t think that this will help them in the competition. Whatever! It makes them look way more fun than all the cutesy Broadway style numbers they performed earlier in the competition.
Afterwards, Linnea explains that tonight’s competition will be interview-oriented and they will be judged on poise, quality of answers and teamwork. I only wish those goodwill ambassadors of Team Skin Deep could have hung in there one more week!
During interview practice, Team Erica Kane has their weekly meltdown when Laura has difficulty making up questions for her mother to answer. In an interview, Laura admits that she is scared about the upcoming competition and begins to cry. She doesn’t “want to show any stupidity whatsover”. No, she just wants to show total bitchery. Meanwhile, Ada and Christan have trouble working on the delivery of their responses. You know, I think they come off way more likable now that Angela and Tenia are gone. The remaining three teams sit in their bedroom and discuss what kinds of questions they’ll be asked. They move into the the bathroom and Mindy is very anxious due to Rachelle’s critiques. She gets really nervous and I’m worried we’re going to have another meltdown at judging.
After the break, the girls take their places on the stage and Shanna introduces herself as a former Miss USA but I’m too distracted by her oddly asymmetrical, feathered hair. If this show makes it to Season 2 they should just let Carson host. Mindy and Rachelle are in the hot seat first and are asked what quality they would like to acquire from the other. Rachelle would like her mother’s strength since she inherited her mother’s kidney disease and could need a transplant in the future. Mindy would like Rachelle’s strong heart since she she was able to deal so well with Mindy’s illness. They are also asked about divorce and which team shouldn’t be in the competition. They really don’t seem to answer that question, but I think that was the right answer, since they didn’t call anyone out specifically.
Apparently the judges are going with the same questions for each team because Ada and Christan get Carson’s question about acquired characteristics. Ada would like Christan’s dark hair and Christan would want Ada’s smile. Cynthia switches it up and asks what the key generationald difference is between the two. (This is a good thing because the previous divorce question was pretty lame.) Ada thinks Christan’s generation is entitled and Christan thinks her mom is a pushover with the men in her life. Well that’s putting all the dirty laundry out on the line. Shanna drops the “which team shouldn’t be in this?” bomb and Christan answers Jenileigh and Moya which Ada seconds. The judges deliberate and find Ada and Christan lacking substance and charisma. Carson rightly points out that if Ada wants dark hair she can buy some Clairol and do it herself. (Or she could just put on one of Christan’s hair extensions.)
Hollis and Gina step up and correctly answer Shanna’s loaded question by not naming names. Cynthia asks the same generational divide question by saying that Hollis and her peers seem to like ordering take out instead of cooking for themselves. Hollis answers by saying that her mom’s generation is too dependant on men to take care of them. The judges are impressed by the scope of their answers and their ability to function as a team.
Team Erica Kane in the house! Patty would like Laura’s ruthlessness. I mean passion and determination to fulfill her dreams. Laura would like Patty’s love. Patty thinks Laura and her generation are too quick to share emotions. Laura meanwhile believes that Patty and her ilk are too quick too pass judgement. Interesting. Patty and Laura fall into Shanna’s trap and throw Hollis and Gina under the bus by telling the judges that they are fake and exhibit “negative qualities”. The judges find them “aggressive” and “brutally honest”. I would also add “lacking self awareness”.
Jenileigh and Moya are a little thrown by Shanna’s question and answer that the team who least adequately performs this task should be eliminated. Good answer! Jenileigh would take Moya’s strength and Moya would love to have Jenileigh’s outgoing personality. We didn’t really see much from them, but apparently there wasn’t a whole lot to show, since the judges remark how brief their responses were.
Shanna explains the purpose of the de-sashing ceremony again. I wish she would act like Chris Hanson and call it “The Most Shocking De-Sashing Ceremony Ever!” Safe tonight are Mindy and Rachelle and Jenilieigh and Moya. The three remaining teams are called to the front of the stage. Gee, do you think that Gina and Hollis realize that they have this competition in the bag? To absolutely no one’s surprise (except for Team Erica Kane maybe) Hollis and Gina win again. Shanna tells them that they were a “perfect 10″ and that they have “flawless” interviewing skills. Now for the tongue lashing: Carson says that Ada and Christan lacked depth in their answers while Cynthia points out that they struggle with teamwork. Shanna tells Team Erica Kane that they come off angry and aggressive. She then instructs them to pick up the bedazzled scissors and de-sash… Ada and Christan. Tears! Even Laura cries. The best part is Patty breaking down and saying how “crazy” all of this is. After Ada and Christan depart, Shanna tells the remaining teams that they will be competing in the finale pageant next week. I can’t wait!
Next week: Patty wears a bikini! Rachelle has a medical emergency! Jenileigh does that aerial stuff again!
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