First things first: I now have cable and Internet in my new home; however…I still am without television sets and the rest of my furniture. Thanks Moving Company!
In other news, I was able to catch up on some GH. The good news is that not much has changed. Logan is still in a coma, although apparently he may be coming out of it. I’m sure Lulu thinks its because she’s been keeping a bedside vigil but I believe its because I watched these clips on YouTube. Suck it, Lulu.
I am also ecstatic that young Michael was found on the very day I come back into the fold. Of course, I’m being sarcastic. I would gladly take one for the team and vow not to watch General Hospital for a year if Michael would take a permanent hiatus. Why can’t Bob Guza take a page out of Lost’s playbook and just have Michael disappear like Walt? Then perhaps Sonny could take a job on a freighter and you’d have two birds killed with one stone. Seriously, ABC executives, I’m got a computer and a modem. Now that the strike is over (and once my furniture is delivered) we can be in business.
I love how ridiculous Carly’s reaction to Michael’s confession was. Lady, you’re raising a future serial killer. How many times has he talked about taking matters into his own hands? That child needs extensive therapy and military school. Honestly, Sonny is Michael’s father and Jason is his role model. Can Carly really be that naive? The best was when she was so stunned that Michael never thought to call 911 to help Kate. That killed me. Just like Carly neglected to call 911 after she maybe/maybe not hit some with her car! He is his mother’s child after all!
While we’re on the subject of people not calling 911, let’s talk about Elizabeth, shall we? So Lucky finally realizes that Elizabeth may have hit Sam and instead of taking her in for questioning, hugs it out with her in Jason’s abandoned hospital bed. Liz is terrified that Sam is going to extract revenge by exposing Jake’s true parentage. How is that even possible? Doesn’t everyone know this by now? I think people in Pine Valley have figured it out by now. At this point, I can’t even feel sorry for Liz. When you voluntarily check yourself out of the hospital in the middle of a thunderstorm for a late night booty call with your hitman/baby daddy, fall asleep at the wheel, and then hit your barren rival with your car, you stand the chance of losing your kids. I don’t make the rules; I just blog about them.
Sam, meanwhile, is teetering around the hospital in a bathrobe and cane like she’s Sofia Patrillo. As she is the perpetual winner (or loser as the case may be) of the Sad Sack Lottery (something she inherited from Alexis), Sam’s latest crisis involves her suspension from Everyday Heroes. Oh, the humanity. Instead of asking Tom Bergeron to fill in for her, the network has hired a younger, blonder and taller model. Poor Sam, it’s bad enough that she’s childless and alone, but now she doesn’t have her ill-conceived television career to drown her sorrows in either. Here’s what I want to know: will Everyday Heroes still tape in Port Charles? Ha! Maybe, because if the new establishing shots have taught us anything at all, it’s that Port Charles is a thriving metropolis where cars go off cliffs and buildings blow up. Back to Sam, I do wonder what her next career move will be. After all, she’s been a gold digging scam artist, a salvage diver, a professional ride or die chick, a junior lawyer-in-training, and a feel-good television show host. What’s next? Dancing with the Stars? She could rehab her hip just like Marc Cuban! She has to figure out some way to pay the rent on Drunk Sam’s Dream Apartment.
