Dear God, my eyes!
If you missed this week’s episodes, Sam is running around in some sort of white jumpsuit. I can’t figure out if she’s on the Swiss Downhill Skiing team, a character in Logan’s Run, or a world class fencer. Maybe she’s trying out for a post modern version of The Avengers now that Everyday Heroes is out of the picture.
While we’re on the topic of hideous fashion, how long are they going to play out this “Claudia only wears red shoes” nonsense? Honestly, the Zaccharas bore me. I can’t deal with Little Miss Red Shoe Diaries and Johnny is like Jason 2.0 complete with freestanding hair. They’re the most un-mafia-like mobsters ever. People, we all watched The Sopranos. Did Tony Soprano ever kick it in a Gothic mansion wearing four inch stilettos? No, he ate sandwiches in a pork store or drank in a strip club. He didn’t hide out in a coffee shop, although he did do a month at Barone Sanitation. Jason’s no better. Mob enforcers don’t date pretty nurses and mediate family disputes. Christopher Moltisanti was too busy writing horrible screenplays or cheating on Adriana. Bob Guza’s version of the mob makes Mario Puzo’s look surprisingly accurate. For real, it’s like the mob by way of the Bronte sisters.
It’s good to know that even though I’ve been gone a while, Monica is still a drunk. I love soapy drunks. I love that she shows up to work hammered, too. She’s like Alison Parker at those D&D client luncheons, knocking back martinis while Amanda pitches ideas for Glorious Gowns. Maybe Monica will luck out and end up in rehab with the guy who played JAG, just like Alison.
While not a drunk, Nik is still suffering from his Emily delusions. How much do you think Tyler Christopher must hate this plotline? So basically he’s getting shaken down by Dr. Devlin so he can keep taking the experimental drugs so Emily won’t disappear. This is so ridiculous I can’t even deal with it. Nik’s been in Port Charles long enough; he should know that he doesn’t need the drugs to be with Emily again. All he needs to do is have the surgery, sleep with Nadine, and within six months either the real Emily or a lookalike will show up and wreck havoc for all involved. Get with it, Nikolas!
” I am better on two double vodkas than you are at your best! “
Everytime I think of daydrinking, I think of Alison Parker and our good friend, Lex. “It’s sunny outside and I’ve got nothing to do–Long Island Ice Teas for everyone!”
Everytime I think of daydrinking, I think of me.
Yes, good call, but when I think of people drinking in the day, giving me the finger in traffic, and dancing like J.Lo, I do think of you. I just had to clarify that.
I aim to please. And to do the double-flip-off from balconies.
“I don’t wanna see that.”