Just a Simple Girl with a Dream

It’s been pretty well established that Salem (and that’s Salem, USA, for all you folks out there) is pretty centrally located.  It’s close to various tropical islands, had a semi-successful charter service to Las Vegas, and is a hub for Eurotrash old and new.  Apparently, it’s also where Steve spent a portion of his “missing” years.  Isn’t it?  Ava’s keeping Hope locked up in her father’s house which has to be somewhat near Salem.  It just goes to show you that you can have a heavy ISA presence in your town and you still won’t realize that one of the town heroes (with a pretty noticible and distinguishing eye patch — no less) is lurking miles away.

Enough about the logistics, I really am enjoying the whole Ava/Hope war or words, although I wish Hope would go all Lauren on Ava and throw champagne in her eyes.  Despite Ava’s crazy eyes, I think Hope’s feisty enough to take her.  Plus she’s also the best cop on the Salem PD, so she has that going for her.  It is interesting watching Hope recite the ballad of Steve and Kayla, especially since Hope was sailing around the world and/or presumed dead for a good portion of it.  (That reminds me, I remember Hope coming back as Gina, complete with feathered hair, and I remember her opening the puzzle box and reciting her letter to Bo on their wedding day, but I can’t recall if Hope was ever like “where’s my best friend, Steve?”  Because if I was an amnesiac for years and regained my memory, I would want to know where some of these people were.  Then again, I also think I missed the part where Kayla had to explain to Steve that the man he knew as his brother-in-law, Roman, was actually John Black, and Jack McKay, meanwhile, was really Roman, but I digress.)  It kills me when delusional Ava talks about how Patch’s “bad side” because I keep expecting Hope to say something like: “bad side?  Lady, he once threatened me and my real husband with a knife while we were wearing sleeveless wetsuits!”

Here’s my one problem with this whole storyline: we’ve already established Ava as a crazy bitch, no? (There’s my Heidi Klum-speak coming out.)  So what kind of crazy bitch doesn’t take a gander in her kidnapping victim’s purse?  That’s right, a stupid, crazy bitch.  Now, I know that if Ava looked in Hope’s purse and saw that her driver’s license read “Hope Williams Brady” then we really wouldn’t have days and days of this storyline playing out.  Still though, I cry foul that Ava isn’t checking to see what credit cards “Kayla” has or what kind of makeup she carries around.  “I can’t believe Patch has a wife that shops at Kohl’s and wears Elizabeth Arden!”  Really, you can tell a lot of about the woman you’re keeping prisoner from the contents of their purse, and that’s my lesson for today.