It’s no secret that I hate Lulu, in fact, I’m pretty open about it so imagine how happy I was that not only did Carly seem disgusted with her, but Kate Howard totally went all Devil Wears Prada on her ass. Of course, this being General Hospital, a show written by a man who thinks that a bullet lodged in a 12 year old’s brain is an accurate consequence for kids who play with guns, I am overly concerned that today’s anti-Lulu episode is not as anti-Lulu as it may appear. You see, this is a show named after a hospital but is really about Gothic, incestuous mob siblings, legitimate coffee importers, a brain dead hitman with a heart of gold, and the women who love him. Therefore, something tells me that we’re supposed to feel sorry for Lulu. After all, she’s trying to stop a mob war! How dare Carly sit at her son’s bedside when she should be dialing Sonny up and letting him know that Johnny Zacchara has an alibi. While I did enjoy Carly’s “WTF meets resigned grief” face, y’all know that if it were anyone else’s kid in that room, Blondie would be all up in their grill trying to defend Sonny and Jason. I guess Lulu really is more like Carly than the department store mannequin they prop up in a chair Laura.
Okay, so when Carly coerced Jason into talking to Michael about his “lost year” in Africa did anyone have Legends of the Fall flashbacks? I’m guessing that’s just me and possibly my dear friend, Kristina, because we LOOOOOOOOOVE that movie like Lulu LOOOOOOOOOOVES Johnny. Die. Anyway, I’ve made the “Jason=Tristan” comparison before, but it’s so apt, especially since Jason is a hitman and Tristan is a bootlegger (yet both are so noble and so righteous!). You see, one day Brad Pitt just up and leaves his father’s Montana ranch and then Julia Ormond writes him all these letters and you see him on ships, traveling the world, sleeping with hookers, it’s great. I’m sure Jason’s trip was just like that, just sanitized because he was telling it to a comatose preteen on a show owned by Disney. Let me go even further, Carly gets to be Susannah, because she started out with AJ and then she totally settled for Sonny (and/or Jax) when she couldn’t have Jason, plus she’s certifiable. I’m guessing Elizabeth is Isabel Two since she’s younger, fertile, and Carly hates her. I’ve kind of backed myself into a corner because Sonny or Jax has to be Alfred, but in reality, you know that’s more Ric’s speed. What the hell am I talking about? It’s my adaptation and I am phasing Sonny right out of it! Oh, and Edward gets to be Col. Ludlow!
Honestly, I’m surprised that GH hasn’t already seized on this, since they’re all about ripping off the movies. Which reminds me: is this Nikolas/Emily Ghost retread done yet? I do admit to enjoying the burgeoning romance between Nik and young Nadine. I love that she’s so Midwest. I hope that they get married and have some barn ho-down wedding that horrifies Helena. “Country line dancing with the Cassadine Prince! I guess that Quartermaine girl wasn’t so bad after all!”
