Just a Simple Girl with a Dream

You don’t know how excited I was when I saw “The Metro Court Hotel explodes” on my DVR…so that should tell you how “awesome” my Memorial Day was.  First of all, my office didn’t close today so I had to wake up at my usual time and sit at my computer instead of on a lawn chair at the pool.  Secondly, I can’t deal with Lulu and Johnny and their ten kinds of suck, so anything that predates that appeals to me.  In retrospect, General Hospital a year and a half ago is like The Godfather Part II compared to what’s going on right now.  Don’t believe me?  Well just call me Ross Gellar because I have a list:

• No Zaccharas.  I hate them; all of them.  I wish May Sweeps would bring some giant twister and sweep them all out of town.  Or a swarm of Killer Bees.  Anything to get them off my screen. 
• Carly and Jax were not married.  Let’s be honest, Carly has Jax’s balls in a mason jar next to their bed (but behind a picture of Jason). 
• Mr. Craig wasn’t Jerry Jax.  I’m sorry, but that reveal is right up there with “Bobby was just taking a really long shower” on Dallas.  I love the irony of him stealing Carly’s engagement ring.  Remember that weird sexual tension between them?  Is Jerry over that and simply transferring everything to Alexis now?  By the way, I am so glad they showed this episode in light of all the Jerry/Alexis hooking up so we can all remember how he terrorized her loved ones (even if she cannot).
• Cooper Barrett!  What a wasted character; he was so hot and he liked Maxie (until the very end when the writers made it seem like he was a rope wielding psycho).
• Sam and Jason.  I know it’s all about The Lovahs now, but I loved Sam and Jason, even if it all devolved into “Babies/Uterus/I’d die for you!”  I’m sorry but Sam is a kickass chick; she jumped out of the Metro Court for God’s sake.  Liz meanwhile, gets trapped in an elevator.  I don’t care if she was pregnant at the time, Sydney Bristow would jump out an exploding hotel pregnant. 
• Sam had a legitimate day job that did not involve the words “Everyday” and “Heroes”.  In terms of GH sweeps stunts, I really enjoyed this one, although it did beget the disastorous “Sam becomes a television star” storyline.  Remember the watch?  For days all we would get is closeups of this men’s watch as an unknown person watched Sam’s sound bytes over and over again.  It was right up there with The Gloved Hand on Days.
• All the dead people are alive! Alan, Emily, Alcazar, Skye! Okay, Skye isn’t technically dead, but remember how they dressed her?  She’s wearing a tin foil bolero jacket, people!  Meanwhile, Bobbi (who is not dead either, but is hardly on the show) is running around Kelly’s wearing a lavender off-the-shoulder number that I think Kristi Yamaguchi modeled on Dancing with the Stars.
• The beginning of the end for Skye:  Right after this, Skye is only able to utter variations of the following phrases: “Lorenzo, the father of my child”; “The father of my child is in a coma!”; “I did this to protect the father of my child, Lila Rae; etc.
• Robin isn’t pregnant and therefore not blogging.  Let me clarify, I was once very interestedin Robin’s HIV+ pregnancy but once it became all about the comic misadventures over the Internet with occasional moments of “hilarity” from Anna, I checked out.
• Maxie!  She’s so awesome and so much better than Lulu.  This was right after she miscarried Lucky’s pillow child.  I kind of wish the writers had waited a little bit and then she could have gone into premature labor during the hostage crisis as a distraction.  I can see it now, Emily and Robin attending her while Alan announces “I can see the feathers!”
• Elizabeth wearing the same dress I wore to my 25th birthday. 
• Mr. Craig’s games: Remember “Kickass Carly?”  That will never get old.  How about “Michael Corinthos, Junyah!”

See isn’t that so much better than blogging at Jake’s/the Zaccharas/Sonny and Jason’s break up?