Okay, I’m still upset but I went over to my friend L’s house, made some brownies, and I have two hours of looking at hot guys like James Scott to look forward to…(taped episodes of Days on my DVR, because he’s nowhere to be seen up in this Emmy broadcast).
Let’s begin with the bullet points of “not yet ready for Primetime and designer fashion”, shall we?
- What’s with all the yelling? Against my better judgement, I love Cameron Matheson, however, if I was ever in his presence for more than thirty minutes I feel like I would need to invest in the latest hearing aid technology as I would most likely become deaf. Sherri Shephard is no better. I know how exciting it must be to be in a room with La Lucci and Regis and that kid named Van Helsing from As the World Turns, but dial down the volume. Oh and that All My Children skit at the beginning? I wrote funnier things for my fifth grade variety show. I’m not bragging people, how many eleven years old do you know who penned a Steel Magnolias parody called Tin Pentunias where the Julia Roberts character (played me, natch!) was supposed to walk out on stage wearing her hooker costume from Pretty Woman (nixed by my teacher)?
- The Kodak Theater is set up like the Golden Globes complete with food and drink. I expect some wacky hijinks from Kim Zimmer. True Story, my good pal, JMTIV who text messaged me last night from a Mexican Cruise, ran into The Zimmer pre-partying for the Emmys two years ago. I told him he was lucky he got out of there alive.
- All My Children continues to eat away at the cast of Guiding Light. Apparently Brian Frons and company decided that they would “announce” that Beth “Harley” Ehlers was joining the show right in the first ten minutes of this ceremony. Is there anyone out there that didn’t know this already? I half expect Barbara Walters to casually mention her affair with a black Senator somewhere around the half-way mark.
- Laura Wright, Anthony Geary, and Sarah Brown announce the Supporting Actress Award. I can’t believe Laura busted out my future wedding dress for my sunset ceremony at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. For real, she’s wearing a white strapless mini dress and Sarah Brown is wearing something from the Morticia Addams Fall 08 collection. Apparently she’s very committed to her character. Quick check her for red shoes! I know they like to have the presenters come out with fellow castmembers, but I think it would have been awesome if Tamara Braun was paired with the two women instead of Anthony Geary. Then they could have had a throwdown Carly-off.
- Marcy Ryland and Daniel Cosgrove from Guiding Light present a talk show award. I don’t watch GL anymore (and thank God for that because I’m seen the “new camera style” and it’s very high school TV Production class circa 1996) but i know Daniel as Kelly Taylor’s lawyer boyfriend who did some weird dance during the opening credits. I briefly watched Marcy on the show and I can still say that she hasn’t lost her ability to play to the cheap seats and even the people outside the theater, across the street at Baja Fresh. (Oh Tyra Banks won this award and she scared the bejeezus out of me so I am pretending this didn’t happen.)
- Apparently One Life to Live is allegedly the best soap on TV, but what’s up with the High School Musical crap?
- Tom Pelphrey wins his second Emmy for Outstanding Younger Actor. I really enjoyed him on GL but wish, wish that he stops going back there. Look, I love history and GL was a great show, but they’re two steps away from filming in Rite-Aids and Motel 6′s.
- To no one’s surprise Jennifer Landon wins for Outstanding Younger Actress again, even though Rachel Melvin got one hell of a cheer when her name was announced as a nominee. Also, Jennifer is rocking some bizarre sort of Princess Leia as Jaba’s Slave Girl retread.
- Van Helsing or whatever his name is? Who the hell is this kid? He’s everywhere! He and some other guy are announcing the Best Talk Show Host Category. I loved it when Lisa Rinna and Ty Treadway used to get nominated in this. I loooooooved Soap Talk and I found TT to be a more accessible version of Cameron Matheson. Plus, yes yelly.
- Guiding Light’s montage comes on and I hope and pray they don’t win, because then they’ll believe that their “improvements” were for the best. Dear God, they aren’t.
- Jack Wagner and Heather Tom present. They both look terrible, yet I wonder if Heather Locklear is in the house.
- Kristoff St. John wins his Supporting Emmy from a bevy of Days of Our Lives stars. There’s not a lot I can say since I haven’t watched Y&R in 10 years, but I love his name.
- Kristen Storms, Bradford Anderson and Jason Cook present and I can’t get over why JC has grown a beard. Last I checked, he’s not playing Bo’s son anymore. Plus, I can’t help but think he’s trying to look like Eric Bana in Troy (and I love Eric Bana but on JC…no.)
- Farrah Fath presents an award and let’s be honest, I never understood her appeal. I never enjoyed her line delivery and I will always think of her as petulant Mimi in high school. Apparently she’s fabulous on OLTL so whatver.
- Julie Berman appears on screen and teases something about hooking up with Sonny. My skin crawls. Plus, if she wants screentime, hook up with Jason. Jason=on all five days!
- Jeanne Cooper wins Outstanding Lead Actress and again, I don’t watch Y&R so I have nothing. I will ask, however, where Dee Hall is?
- Tony Geary wins his twenty-fifth Emmy. Where is Maurice Bernard?
- Horror of Horrors: General Hospital wins Best Show. How did this happen? Obviously, they were only shown the Metro Court Hostage crisis episodes because how else could this have happened? (Although I was glad GL didn’t win…they film in an empty field, people!) GH killed like half of their cast last year and now they’re being awarded with an Emmy. If I were up for contract renegotiation I would be very afraid. Very afraid. By the way, did anyone besides me think that Linda Dano was inexplicably speaking on behalf of GH? I usually turn the show off at this point, so I had no idea what Jill Farren Phelps looks like. Apparently Dano-tastic!
Yes, GH winning best Emmy was a tragedy, but they did wisely send in the Metrocourt thing which I remembered being riveted to at the time. Usually I work through GH but during that storyline I was glued. Still, it will just encourage them that they’re doing a good job and more killings will occur no doubt.
The truest travesty of the night was that James Scott was nowhere to be seen. I had to go to Soapnet to find clips of him for crying out loud. Very uncool. Days was kinda like the redheaded step child, way in the back and you never saw any of them except in quick view during the categories they were nominated in.
I was thoroughly bored by the whole thing.
Yes, with the exclusion of Passions, Days has to sit at the kids table. A guy I was dating asked me what my ideal job would be and I replied “working in the writer’s room at GH”. I mean just think of the conversations that go on in there: “Logan’s not working. Let’s kill him off.” “Georgie’s too smart. We need to kill her off.” “Emily’s simpering. We’ll kill her off during sweeps.”
Hee, not to mention you have job security, because for some reason they won’t fire the writing staff and start anew. I guess it’s cause they keep winning Best Daytime Drama awards thanks to having 2 good episodes out of about 300 of suck. The Emmy voting process is a joke.
I do kinda wish the Days writers would have the occasional let’s kill him off talk and let him stay dead. Daniel is my first submission. hehe
I second that motion. For instance, if Daniel was surfing up the coast at Salem Beach and got eaten by a shark, I wouldn’t bat an eye.
Uggh, so disgusted that GH won. This only encourages them to keep killing great characters (along with shitty ones) and have poor dialogue. Where is the justice??