Since I am obsessed with shopping for real estate, I wish Tori Spelling’s reality show would do a whole season where she looks for a home. I’m really upset that they’ve found their dream home in only the third episode. Los Angeles is so massive, they could have devoted an entire episode for looking in Encino alone! (Say what you will about The Valley and clearly, JMTIV and I have said our fair share, but I used to work in Enicno and there are some really nice homes there. Also, there is plenty of parking and chain restaurants. Everyone needs to hit up an Olive Garden every now and then.)
I wonder where their new dream home is. It looks very McMansionesque and if I were from Mars and didn’t realize that this show was set in Los Angeles, I would think that Dean and Tori were moving into a brand new residence in Boca Raton, Florida. With that being said, I totally think it’s a cute house, it’s just not what I expected. Perhaps something more modern with frosted glass windows, like Kelly Taylor’s old house.(BTW, I secretly hope that Kelly Taylor has bought back her mother’s home and lives there in the new series. Although, I am not sure how she would be able to afford it on a guidance counselor’s salary, but I have to imagine that at some point she married Dylan, they divorced and she got all of his money…that he didn’t spend on drugs and voila…Jackie Taylor’s house comes home!)
In between real estate runs, Tori, Dean, Liam and the dearly departed Mimi La Rue attended Tori’s book signing party at Kitson. I’ll be honest: I don’t really care for Kitson. I feel like it’s the In Touch Magazine of Robertson Boulevard shops. Liam survived his first photo call (arguably much better than Dean) while Tori encountered the two older Kardassian sisters not named “Kim” and Adrienne Curry, who at first glance, I thought was a 38-year-old mortgage broker. Seriously, what was up with the glasses? Tangent alert: I remember watching Adrienne and Chris (Is that even his name? I just know him as “The Brady”) on The Surreal Life and enjoyed their courtship (which, now that I think about it, was probably as wrong as Chan is on Days of Our Lives right now). Then they were spun off into a series of ill-advised “celeb-reality” shows and I lost all interest, so imagine my surprise to that the girl who once washed her car in a polka dot bikini to get his attention now dresses like a Hollywood Power Agent. Who knew?
Dean, meanwhile, attempted to atone for his past SCUBA-related mistakes by joining an all male, all gay SCUBA club while Tori sat under a tent with personal butlers and Mimi. I wonder how long Tori even sat out there, because it looked to me like she spent an awful long time running around the South Bay attempting to find cell service. Not that I blame her, though…the house was on the line! Long story short, they got the house and now we’ll be treated to shots of them moving in and decorating…right? I mean, if there’s one thing I love more than real estate shopping it’s home design. Since this show is contrived beyond belief how awesome would it be if Mindy Paige Davis Page showed up to help with the bathroom color scheme?
Z Gallerie here they come!!!!
With special guest star Dave Navarro!