I’m going to make a bold statement: Lulu and Johnny on the run are 200 times more interesting than Max and Stephanie on a train but since Max and Stephanie are mind numbingly boring, that’s not saying much. (Although I will admit to liking the extra large map of France that accompanies said Max and Stephanie vignettes.)
Back to the ‘08 Bonnie and Clyde: who hides out in a piano teacher’s apartment subsisting on chips and dips? Also, who goes on the run but gives piano lessons? That’s like that story from Seinfeld where Kramer’s on the bus with the pinky toe, a mugger starts attacking passengers, the bus driver passes out, Kramer knocks the mugger out, starts driving the bus, fends off the mugger and continues making all the stops…because people kept ringing the bell! But I digress. I do want to point out that Lulu’s disguise of hat, sunglasses and wifebeater will surely fool all the cops…if the cops they’re hiding from went to the Port Charles Police Academy. Random sidenote: So I saw The Dark Knight(who didn’t?) and in between drooling over Christian Bale (Free Christian!) I thought to myself: “are the Gotham cops really more inept than Mac Scorpio and Company?” I give Port Charles the edge, but only slightly. Then I had a horrible realization that since Guza enjoys cribbing from movies that by November Sweeps Jason will be donning an expensive rubber suit and mask since he can’t be an Active Crime Boss and Town Hero. Plus, it’s just an excuse to tie Elizabeth and/or Sam to oil canisters.
They’re really hitting us over the head with these “Lulu is her mother’s daughter” anvils aren’t they? I mean if you’re a woman in the Spencer Family you really need to have your first confirmed kill by the age of 21. Speaking of which, how awful was it that Scott had to find out that his son was dead from Tracy and Nikolas? How awful was it that no one bothered to write him into a scene prior to today? He’s a veteran character! Nadine (Nadine!) has had more screentime lately and the only person she’s related to is in a coma (and/or playing another character on All My Children). I guess since this show has turned into Jason Morgan’s General Hospital Featuring Spinelli, you have to roll with it. You know, kind of like Spinelli has to roll with Carly’s plan to frame some innocent person for Logan’s murder. You have to hand it to this woman: she’s like Scarlett O’Hara; she doesn’t let anything get her down for long (my apologies to Margaret Mitchell). Her marriage is in crisis but she’s all about hanging out at Jason’s second home (The Interrogation Room) and using Spin’s mad hacking skillz to frame someone, all this while Mercedes watches Morgan. Honestly, she should let Sonny have visitation rights; he’s not doing much of anything besides meeting Russian mobsters, half-ass planning a wedding and largely being irrelevant. He’s a perfect manny!
