Just a Simple Girl with a Dream

There are several things in life that make me feel old.  Here’s a small sampling:

• Fall Out Boy: I don’t get them; I can’t name a single song they sing and they epitomize how I know nothing about music anymore, despite previously working in the music industry.
• My impending High School Reunion: Yeah, not going.
• 90210: Yeah, it’s so “modern”, they’ve dropped the “Beverly Hills Colon”.  Oh and there’s blowjobs before school now.  I hope Candy Spelling is busy buying condos and not watching this.

With that all being said, here we go, back to Torrance West Beverly High:

The good:

• Jessica Walter: I like that she’s playing a nicer, more lucid version of Lucille Bluth.   I like her snarky relationship with Silk Stalkings Estes and Lady Mossimo.
• EdenNaomi.  God help me, at times, I actually thought she looked young.  I was prepared to hate her, fruit cake poisoning aside, but I can see her being worthy of various sleepover and mother/daughter fashion show freakouts.
• Naomi’s party: Was it just me or did that remind anyone of the “Let’s Fuck Christmas Together” party from Less than Zero, a party that I try to copy stylistically every Christmas?  Would it have killed one character to show up in the James Spader pimp suit?
• Mr. Matthews: He’s basically a snarkier, dirtier version of the dreamy English teacher Michael Vartan played in Never Been Kissed. Oh Michael Vartan! I still want to know what Kelly Taylor is doing there as the guidance counselor?  I really hope she doesn’t need the money. (I’m guessing not by the chandelier we saw in her bedroom.)  By the way, what was up with that phone call to presumably her baby daddy?  Did anyone but me think she was talking to Jack Shepherd or have I just seen the Season Finale of Lost one too many times?
• Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez: I see that she’s inherited her mother’s ability to look older than anyone on the show.  But does she live out of district?
• Linda Gray!  What a surprise, although I am a little shocked that her character hasn’t turned out to be a tramp, a drunk or an unfit (grand)mother yet.
• Brenda!  Although she hasn’t said anything fierce and/or bitchy yet.  And why is Brandon in Belize?  Belize it or not, but could he be shacking up with Emily Valentine again?

The Bad:

• Apparently The Peach Pit after Dark still exists; but it’s just “The Pit” now.  Okay, what club in LA lasts for ten odd years with the same name or variation thereof?  The Viper Room and that’s about it. 
• This show is The O.C.   Honstly, the whole subplot between Silk Stalkings and Naomi’s mom is so Kirsten Cohen/Jimmy Cooper.  I mean, wasn’t it always insinuated that Jimmy got Kirsten pregnant at one point or am I hallucinating?  I am on a lot of Claritin right now.
• What is up with this mythic “School Board” and is Felice Martin involved in some capacity? 
• Who in the holy Dylan McKay Memorial Hell is this Ty character Annie’s dating?  A private jet? I can’t wait until later in the series where we get to the potted plant smashing outside of the Bel Age Hotel.
• Everytime I look at “Silver” I just think of when David got really high and wore that black Kangol hat and lost her at the playground.  If only she was never found…
• Dixon’s on the team/he’s off the team/he’s on the team/he’s off the team.  Who cares?  Just get to the part where his journalist friend makes him write a piece on rampant steroid abuse.

Despite all that, I saw Jackie Taylor in the promos for next week so I guess I have to watch!  Plus I totally want to find out how Kelly Taylor’s date went.  I would say that Mr. Matthews would know from the locker room graffiti that Kelly gets around but I think she and Valerie destroyed that at the Five Year.  Also, I’m really confused as to who is supposed to be the Steve Sanders of this group?  I loved Steve and his crazy father Rush.  If there was a way to work Rush into this show, I say go for it.  I mean, just today, I was sitting there watching Josh Taylor on Days of Our Lives and thought to myself “remember when he was a credible actor on 90210?” Jack McKay is alive!

P.S. Does Ethan remind anyone else of Brad from the Real World: San Diego? I half expect him to don a Super Mario Costume and then leave Dixon a jailhouse phone call consisting of the message “I’m in Jail, Bitch!”