The other day at work, my friend and I were discussing our dream jobs. We’ve discussed them all here: Dolphins cheerleader, college football coach, soap opera writer. Judging from this week’s worth of GH episodes, I think that the last may be the most obtainable (although in the Seminoles keep playing like they’re betting against the spread, maybe I’ll get the call. Let’s face it: the Athletic Department probably already has a file on me from all of my strongly worded letters). Seriously in what world are the following plotlines a good idea:
- Spinelli and Maxie (fresh from falsely testifying in a murder trial) decide to create online dating profiles for Jason and Carly. Gee, thanks guys for inflicting two of the most morally reprehensible people in upstate New York on cyberspace. And how picky was Carly being anyway? I love that she was afraid of being set up with gold diggers. Oh Carly! When was the last time you were with a man who made less than six figures? Exactly.
- Diane and Max’s breakup. I get it. They’re comic relief and let’s face it, any storyline involving Jason needs some comedic interludes, but I don’t ever want to see Diane in Jason’s arms again. Oh and nice Say Anything callback. You know, that’s never been done before.
- Nadine vacuuming at Wyndemere. We get it: she’s folksy! What’s next? Accepting a cabinet position with John McCain?
- The whole Sam/Jerry/Alexis nonsense. Jerry held Sam hostage and threatened her repeatedly yet Alexis has entered into a full on sexual relationship with him. Now Sam is pretending that she’s into him and he runs and tells Alexis. I think that while Alexis is allegedly the smartest character on the show, she’s really the one with the least common sense.
- Dr. Matt Hunter is Noah’s illegitimate son and came to Port Charles because he was curious about his father and half-brother yet never told them they were all related. How soapy. Except it’s boring.
- Sonny takes his bi-monthly trip to the old neighborhood to mix it up with his high school friends. Why do I have the feeling that at some point ABC Daytime will greenlight Bensonhurst, a half hour spinoff featuring Kate and Sonny, on the run from the mob, hiding in plain sight. Occasional appearances by Jason, Spinelli, and assorted vampires.
- Johnny’s trial. After a whole week of testimony, the jury inexplicably finds Johnny not guilty. What about Edward’s impassioned “no mob” speech? Is Epiphany really that convincing? Or is Claudia just that good on the stand? Why do I even care? He’ll be on trial again by May Sweeps.
I couldn’t agree more with all your points. Exactly what I was thinking, well, except for the Bensonhurst spinoff. I didn’t think of that.
But I would completely go for it, because then Sonny wouldn’t be on GH and I wouldn’t have to watch him. Maybe the mob could move their headquarters to Bensonhurst while they’re at it, and stay there.
The spinoff will be the real deal if Burton leaves because you know Jason has to be the center of the universe and right now he is THE MOB. But yes, I am soooooo tired of all of Sonny’s high school friends.
Thanks Brandi for confirming once again my ongoing decision not to be watching this show right now. I keep in touch to see if anything takes my fancy and might draw me back in, but unsurprisingly, nothing does.
Hee, keep the dream alive girl. Between the Noles and GH and Days stories ahead, I don’t see why there couldn’t be some positions open in the near future!