Just a Simple Girl with a Dream

So I have a big announcement that I’ve been wanting to share with you guys for a while.  It’s just, well, I wanted to wait until the right time.  You see, I too, am pregnant with EJ Wells Dimera’s baby.  I know, I know.  What are the odds?  I mean, Nicole, Sami and me.  We’re a Maury Povich episode waiting to happen.

Honestly, why is EJ getting all of the local women pregnant?  I mean, if EJ impregnates half the town, who are his kids supposed to grow up and date?  It’s bad enough Max has to date his nieces, EJ’s kids will be related to nearly everyone.  (Well maybe they can still sleep with Kate…it’s a right of passage at this point.)

Elsewhere in Salem, there are actually people that aren’t having EJ’s baby.  Hard to believe I know.  Unfortunately there names are Max and Stephanie and they are still on my television screen.  The most positive thing I can say about them is that I like Stephanie’s hair cut so much better than Chelsea’s.  I think it’s the lack of caramel stripes.  I also enjoyed that she temporarily grew a backbone and stood up to Max.  I disliked her manhandling of Melanie, though, but I guess the writers are trying to show up that she’s a former world class race car drive and a Johnson.  I only wished that Stephanie had been the one to witness the Mayor’s shooting; then she could be off screen for weeks in “Witness Protection” hopefully visiting Belle and Shawn in the harbor.

Speaking of the Mayor, was I the only one wondering how much Stefano contributes to his campaign? I’m sure he goes over the maximum amount allowed by law.  Then I wondered if Stefano had a vested interest in the Presidential Election.  I picture him watching Fox News Channel religiously.  Or whatever news network it is that features such exciting Salem events as “Search for a New Police Commissioner” and “Abe announcing his candidacy for Mayor”.  What the hell was that about?  What station breaks into regularly scheduled programming to show Abe giving a speech in the middle of Chez Rouge?  Shouldn’t he have a campaign office and shouldn’t Chez Rouge be non-partisan?  I’m super psyched that Crazy DayPlayer Baby-Sitter who looks kind of like Amy Adams went off on the Carvers and I’m even more ecstatic that Salem has tabloid bloggers digging into Lexie’s skanky past.  For the love of God, did neither Lexie nor Abe think that they would be able to run a clean race?  Lexie’s an adulturous sex-fiend, ex-Dimera heiress that knew she was raising her best friend’s biological son and was recently brought up on charges in front of the hospital board.  Then there’s Abe, a man driven to rage by his wife’s many affairs who has inappropriate chemistry with his mother-in-law and previously presided over the most inept police department this side of Port Charles.  Yeah, that’s the power couple I’d want in charge of my town.  Abe Carver in ‘08, y’all!