Just a Simple Girl with a Dream

I apologize for taking so long to write about 90210, I am sure you all were on pins and needles. 

I mean, Silver hosts a slumber party…that just screams excitement, right?  Actually, when I heard there was going to be a slumber party, I thought of Original 90210′sFirst Season Slumber Party.  You know, where Donna liked to eat, Kelly liked to wear men’s pajamas, and Andrea busted out the Oijua board?  Yeah, good times. Except not.

Instead of Skeletons in the Closet, the girls painted their nails, took tequila shots and traded shirts.  Instead of David Silver lurking in the bushes, Dixon and company crashed the party turning it into a coed kegger.  Sadly, it was Silk Stalkings and not Kelly “He didn’t even bring a blanket” Taylor who busted up the party, but a simple girl can dream, right?  I mean, why couldn’t Kelly have busted in, noticed the kids and the poorly painted black wall and then gathered everyone around and told them that sponge painting is better for teen rebellion home makeovers and that house parties lead to burns which taint your SeventeenMagazine cover unveiling.

Elsewhere, Adrianna and Navid like each other.   That’s great, because if I’ve learned one thing from Dr. Drew on his eponymous Celebrity Rehab,it’s that addicts in recovery shouldn’t jump into relationships.  Perhaps that’s why Ade just wanted to seal the deal with simple sex.  I get how she was a little confused: I mean when a sixteen year old porn scion pays for rehab and showers you with popcorn-flavored jelly beans your first reaction is primal, isn’t it?  Unfortunately for our former child star, Navid wants sex to be special, which I guess is refreshing from a kid whose very existence is paid for by the porn industry.  Or maybe he can only perform on camera, I don’t know; we haven’t learned very much about his character yet.

Meanwhile, Annie grated on my last nerve.  While I’m not really sure what was up with that long shirt/long shorts/socks and boots outfit she had going on, she does have great hair.  (That’s about the only nice thing I can say however.)  When she was drunk and laying it on the line for Silk Stalkings, I yearned for a knock-out, drag-out fight between Brenda and Jim (of course it doesn’t help that I’m currently watching The Original Series on DVD).  I also don’t really get a father/daughter vibe between them which was exacerbated by Silk Stalking carrying her out of Kelly’s house. That was just all kinds of wrong.

Speaking of wrong: Mr. Matthews and Agent Never Been Kissed.  Hmm, having your teacher boyfriend pick your undercover ass up at a teen party?  Not a smart idea.  Does she work for the LAPD or the Port Charles Police Department?  Of course, Ryan’s not the smartest tool in the shed either by picking up said undercover girlfriend outside of your ex-girlfriend’s house.  I’d really like for Jason Priestley to show up, kick his ass and then tell him that there’s room for only one self-righteous guy who gets all the girls in Beverly Hills.