Just a Simple Girl with a Dream

When we last left off, Kitty Carter held a small clinic for the girls who were at risk, it was “makeover time” even though most of the girls looked the same, Jay turned his fitness segment into Circus of the Stars and we had the dreaded double elimination.

Kitty Carter is in the house for like the fourth time this season.  I think this is a record for Kitty; and since I’ve fully embraced my newly found affection for her, I hope she never leaves.  Even though we are several weeks into camp, tonight is Dance Technique Night.  When Kelli introduces her (mind you, does Kitty even need an introduction at this point?)  she tells the girls that Kitty is like a “doctor” who will help the girls fix what ever needs fixing.  In her own words, Kitty is there to look for “the wow factor”.  If you’ve been following the previous two seasons, this segment is nothing new.  Kitty calls people out, hurls insults and girls look frightened and confused.  Basically it’s one of those things wherein you should be worried if she doesn’t say something to you because that means that she doesn’t find you interesting enough to comment on.  Watching Kitty in action gives me the whole “boot camp sequence in Full Metal Jacket” vibe because she’s very quick with her words and she always picks someone that I think will break by episode’s end.  Tonight’s victim is Jaymie Rae, someone I’ve never heard of or seen before this episode, but we get our fair share tonight.  Jaymie Rae (or JR for short because this is a show that takes place in Dallas and every good show about Dallas needs a character named JR) doesn’t know dance terminology which is the kiss of death in Kitty Land.  Let’s be honest here, while some of these girls are very good technical dancers, others just have good hair and can bust out some decent moves at a sorority semi-formal.  Hell, I doubt Miss Britney Jean Spears can define Kitty’s dance terms and her dad’s laughing all the way to the bank.  When JR doesn’t remember the dance term’s meaning from earlier in the rehearsal, Kitty accuses her of being disrespectful and not listening to her.  I love JR’s interview after the fact wherein she explains that Kitty was “freaking (her) out”.    Granted I enjoy Kitty (now) but I can’t imagine being in a dance room with her.  She freaks me out enough in my living room.  Back in the studio, Kitty makes JR “fight for her life” by performing the routine and “freestyling” all by herself.  Oh dear.  This was just cringe-worthy.  JR gets really nervous with everyone’s eyes on her and just…I don’t even know…but it’s not dancing.  It’s not even half assed dancing.  Just call me Wolf Blitzer because I’m projecting that JR will be cut at the end of this episode.

At the end of practice, Kitty sits everyone down and tells them what they need to work on.  The blondes blend and Lisa Rinna Crystal was less impressive than Kitty thought she would be.  Perhaps Kitty saw her on Season 2 of Dancing with the Stars and just expected more.  Who knows?  Here’s an interesting aside from Kitty: She thinks that the Rookies aren’t all that and that Kelli and Judy can pare the squad way down.  I find this interesting since Kelli went on and on about how great the Rookie candidates were at the beginning of the Season. 

Remember on Road Rules, how sometimes professional athletes would show up and play pro-am competitions with the contestants?  Well, apparently so does Jay because that’s this week’s fitness segment. Throw out your rules about fraternizing with Dallas Cowboys footballs players, because Terence Newman and Bradie James have entered the huddle to play flag football.  Let’s pause for a moment and thank all that is Holy that Tony Romo was not thrown into this mix.  We have two teams: Veterans with Newman and Rookies with James.  There’s really not much to say about this, except that there’s really embarrassing trash talking, end zone dances and no one bothers to put their hair in a ponytail.  That’s another thing: I haven’t touched on this in any of my football posts, but it makes me nervous when players have long hair that hangs out of their helmet.  I have long hair, I know how much it hurts when its pulled.  So imagine my horror when I see 20 girls running around with hair all akimbo.  I know they’re only supposed to pull flags but I played Power Puff Football and I know what happens on the field.

Back at the Ranch, Sydney, who was called out last week, seeks help from Makenzi on kicking technique.  Yeah, that’s pretty much the jist of this interlude.  Nothing to see here, folks.

At practice, Kelli kicks things off with a pep talk about how cuts are looming and then calls out each girl to tell them what they need to work on. Leah has that age old problem of now “wowing” Kelli and Judy.  If I had a dollar for every time “wow”, “wowing” or “wow factor” was uttered on this show, I could finance the Federal Bail Out.  Sydney is still making mistakes even though she doesn’t seem to know she’s making them.  Leah is stiff.  Melissa isn’t show maturity in her dancing.  JR is “clunky”.  Staying late tonight: JR, Leah, and Melissa.

Melissa is up first, so I’m calling her safe.  Sure enough, Melissa will live to dance another day but her dancing style needs to mature. 

JR is next.  Kelli explains that the past two nights haven’t been JR’s best and that she won’t be continuing onward.  Kelli advises that more dance training would be helpful and with that, she could most likely be back in Camp next year.  JR takes this very well and tries to keep from crying.  Judy notices this and very sweetly goes over to comfort her.  I love it when Judy consoles the girls.  JR vows to return to Tryouts next year.

Leah comes in last and Kelli tells her that she’s not squad ready.  Leah tries to retain her composure in Kelli’s office and says that she, too, will be back again. 

Next week: The girls put on their uniforms they may never wear for a photo shoot they may never see the proofs from.  Good times!