I knew it was coming and much like a horrible accident, try as I might, I just can’t look away.
Basically, like all GH Stunts, we start in media res and then flashes back to an arbitrary point earlier in the day. Here’s what I’m gleamed from the first two days of this atrocity:
- GH should stop with the montages. I’m really tired of the slow motion, music blaring, people running and silently screaming nonsense. Now, I enjoy a good montage every now and then, but that’s “every now and then”. I feel like Guza trots one out every month…because he does.
- Natalia Livingston, I presume? Why is she returning? As I really don’t care, I never bothered to reach much about her departure, but was it mutual? Or did she really want to leave? Or maybe they just really wanted to murder another core character? Irregardless, there’s been all this hoopla that she’s returning. I’m sorry, but didn’t she officially leave something last summer? I guess I don’t understand all the fuss like she’s “The Real Greenlee”. I enjoy that her character looks to be the anti-Emily; after all she has short hair and is wearing a beret.
- Matt and Monica are operating a person whose body is tainted with a deadly biotoxin and only Patrick can save them…except he doesn’t. Not a spoiler, since it’s the first thing we saw.
- Robin is ANGRY! She’s going to Jason for a diagnosis on whether or not she has PPD like he’s the Port Charles version of Web MD. “Um, Jason, I have chronic shoulder and neck pain? Is it the cancer?”
- Of course this all revolves around Sonny and Jason, why wouldn’t it? Could there ever be a crisis-storyline not driven by the mob?
- Claudia’s still trying to find all the DVDs. I’ve given up trying to care about this plotline since Claudia can’t remain on the show if Sonny knows that she was responsible for Michael’s shooting.
- Doesn’t the “Michael Corinthos Center for Children with Head Trauma” (or whatever it’s called) sound like the “Derek Zoolander School for Kids who Can’t Read Good”?
- Everyone is giving Nikolas a hard time for not “loving” Nadine. Have they been dating that long? Can’t Nikolas ease into this? Why must he love her immediately? Oh that’s right. Because Faux Emily is here.
And what’s bugging me about the first few episodes of this stunt is that aside from 60 seconds at the beginning of each episode there’s nothing tense or requiring a countdown clock going on at all. Sure Patrick and Robin are great, but so far I’m not even seeing the ‘stunt’ in this stunt.
And we all know that when it eventually kicks in it’s just going to be the damn monkey toxin story again. Are they going to kill Bobbie or Monica this time?