Just a Simple Girl with a Dream

When last we left off, Team Erica Kane caused a scene after a Habitat for Humanity project, the teams spoke on “platform issues” and Angela and Tenia ran away from the de-sashing ceremony and I laughed.  At Barbie’s Dream McMansion, the teams discuss Angela and Tenia’s mad dash.  I am surprised that all of the [...]

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Last time on Crowned: Angela worked my last damn nerve, traveled back in time, applied Cover Girl’s Electric Blue Eyeshadow and heckled the other teams, Laura couldn’t even string together a good putdown and The Blondes were unsuccessful in proving that they were smart and funny.  Again. At Barbie’s Dream McMansion, Ada and Christan lament [...]

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On the last Crowned: Team Erica Kane survived a near implosion to come out on top at the talent competition, Gina and Hollis spent their rehearsal time helping the other teams and ended up in the bottom two, Ada and Christan’s talent thrilled Carson and threw me for a loop, and Jill and Nicole fought [...]

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Last week, The Blessed Beauties (formerly Hot and Not) swept the competitions and managed to work as a cohesive unit, Angela and Tenia grated on my last nerve, Nick from Project Runway upset me by appearing on this trainwreck, Shanna Moakler wore a dress straight out of a boutique on Melrose, and Pamela and Felicia [...]

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Last week, The Realists got a reality check (I’ll be here all week!), the teams competed in swimwear, and a cabana boy delivers presents which may contain ”crown jewels” or cheap corsages.    We begin in the Bedroom of Bunk Beds and Broken Dreams as the “nice clique” toasts The Realists who “fell” in the last round.  Meanwhile, the “mean clique” [...]

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Previously, the best show since Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team premiered.  Mother/daughter pairs pulled up to the pinkest house ever and were tasked to come up with a creative team name and opening presentation for the judges.  Team Erica Kane (Patty and Laura) went head to head with The Reiging A’s of Andrea and [...]

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When the writers strike, we all suffer because ill-advised series like Crowed: The Mother of all Beauty pageants are greenlit.  Veronica Mars was cancelled to make room for this?  A tour bus carrying teams of mothers and daughters arrive at Barbie’s Dream McMansion.  Shanna Moakler stands out front wearing a pillowcase with sequins.  She proceeds [...]

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